How do you “respond” to a really bad situation when all you want to do is react: Scream. Kick the walls in. Binge. Throw in the towel…
Today’s post is what inspires me to keep doing what I do. It’s an email from a woman who faced her demons head on. Not with force, but with courage, persistence, and gentle self-care.
First some background: Two months ago this woman wrote me saying she was at her wits end over the prospect of her home being turned upside down by pest exterminators. Read her story and my response to her here.
Yesterday I received a follow-up email from her describing the events that played out (proving yet again that things are not always what they seem). She also talks about what it’s been like for her to clear the clutter in her life––”one thing, one pile, one area” at a time. This letter is a perfect example of what happens when you clear consciously (i.e. the journey is messy, meandery, mysterious, surprising) and worth reading if you can spare the few extra minutes. If you don’t have the time right now, I invite you to scroll to the bottom and consider this week’s clearing opportunities.
Hello Stephanie,
I thought you deserved a more detailed response than my last email. So I am taking a break from my lists and clearing and everything else to give you an update. First of all when I got your email I was so overwhelmed by the fact that you took the time to write such a detailed response and so ‘right on’ about everything, that I just started crying and sobbing. Mostly because I had not realized how unsupported I had been feeling, (a lot of which is my own doing). Anyway I know that once the tears start flowing it could go on for days, and I had things to do, so I made myself stop. I know now, that was an important part of my clearing journey.
So I started with the attic, very focused, determined to use this situation as an opportunity to clear. I took one section at a time, one box at a time, letting go of my “stuff’, letting go of my poverty conciousness, breathing. After about nine hours I was toast. I had only done a quarter of the attic and still had two more floors to go! I did not panic. I took a bath and went to bed.
The next day I got a call from another exterminator. I had called many for advice and estimates. They all pretty much said the same thing. One suggested that I hire movers! Move my stuff where? This was a woman from Aardvark Pest Control. How could I take any one with such a hokey name seriously? I explained the situation to her, and as it turns out, she “was” the company and she would be doing the work herself. Her voice was very calming unlike most of the others I had talked to and she asked me a question that no one else had asked, “How do you know for sure it is bedbugs?”
Well, as it turns out, after all that, there were no bedbugs!!! It was all a figment of my housemate’s imagination! He had been working in a rather filthy foreclosed property and his imagination got the best of him. It’s amazing the havoc that fear can create among everyone in its wake.
It is now one week later and I just signed up for your workshop.
To continue…
So since the imaginary bedbug episode I decided to carry out my plan but in a more manageable way. I would finish the attic and work my way down. Of course things don’t always go according to the plan. Instead, I’ve had to be more flexible and clear what I’ve been drawn to through circumstance or feeling. A missing passport forced me to deal with a bureau drawer I had been putting off for years. My sister came to help me with tax preparation and that forced me to deal with the piles of paperwork to be sorted when I have some “free time”. One pile led to another and it has been very slow going, and I don’t always remember to stop and feel. That being said, there has been much stormy weather.I have been using some of the tools in your book regularly. The salt and soda bath is lovely. I often ask myself throughout the day “What would make me feel most spacious?” I have a lot of trouble making decisions, especially simple ones like “Which of these many things on my list of things to do today should I do first?” and what to have for breakfast. It was comforting to know other people sometimes struggle with these seemingly simple things too. Asking myself that question allows me to step out of the mind chatter, all the “shoulds” and shouldn’ts and all the drama involved.
I have been choosing ease as much as possible and trying not to take anything too seriously as I continue on my clearing journey. Who knows where it will take me? For now it is just one pile at a time.
I thank you so very much once again and I look forward to your workshop.
Many Blessings
This week’s wonderings…Feel free to use the comment box to share a story, vent, noodle, wonder, consider, ask for (and receive) support, set an intention, etc…
- If I really think about, my clutter clearing experience has been….
- This week I’d like to focus on clearing..
- One thing I can do for sixty seconds to lighten my load is…
Remember that just naming, feeling, and putting it out there creates openings that you never dreamed possible. Not to mention releases loads of invisible “clutter”!
