Press Pause, Step Back

Part 1 of 5

There couldn’t be a more perfect way to introduce the first (of five) ways to ease the side-effects of clearing clutter, than to share a question I received from a reader:

“Help! How do I declutter a relative’s home who has dementia without it making me angry and sick? It’s really hard!

If your first reaction was: “Why is Stephanie using this example? I mean really…Dementia?…” I would invite you to pause for a second and notice how you’re feeling. Notice if you’re resisting because you’re really not interested, or resisting because there’s something in these words that are disturbing or moving you in some way.

My split-second process when I first read this reader’s note [slowed down for demo purposes here] was first to gulp and notice the tightness in my throat…followed by an overwhelming wave of sadness.

Buttons get pressed all the time, especially when we are not aware. The minute we get jangled by something, the choice is always the same: we can react or respond.

We can react by resisting, recoiling, feeling pissed, holding a grudge, denying, ranting, raging, tantruming, binging, feeling sorry for ourselves…OR…

We can respond by experiencing [accepting, allowing, feeling] these same weather patterns fully and completely, to the degree that we can handle them – with no attachment.

Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Not easy for us plugged-in humans. When we’re carrying around a lot of pain from our past (aka clutter), it’s hard to pause and take that one step back into being the compassionate witness. Detachment is not something we “get” overnight. It’s a practice that requires awareness and acceptance, courage and compassion – one step, drawer, moment at a time.

So next time you notice another bout of weather moving through in your journey, take it as a good sign: a sign that energy is shifting. Begin by allowing this weather to come through to the degree that you can handle it. If it’s clammy hands, notice them. If it’s resistance, experience it. If it’s nausea, feel it. If it’s tears, shed them. If it’s shame, embrace it. If it’s grief, allow it.

As you experience each wave of weather, do your best not to take any of it personally. Remember it is just energy. The less you personalize these symptoms the quicker they pass.

This is the first installment in a five-part series on easing the side-effects of clutter clearing. Here are the other posts and their sequence to help you support a successful clearing practice:

• Press Pause, Step Back
• Reduce and Repeat
• Soak in Salt and Soda
• Refresh and Beautify with Water
• Do Nothing: Reflections on the Art of Non-Doing