Packing: How Much Stuff is Too Much?

“I had no idea that lots of things housed in a tiny space could result in space feeling clear.”–sbv

I received an email query from a friend the other day, who, like me, is sending her daughter off to college for the first time. She was responding to these messages I posted on my Twitter and Facebook page:

• Two suitcases and a bike was all I brought to college. Now you need five crates to haul the stuff, and a crazed Mom to pack it. It’s insane!
• Completely blotto. Never shopped so much in my life!
• Our daughter’s dorm room is a work of art. Someone should do a feature on her good taste in room decor and space arrangement. She’s a born space clearer!

The query

Dear Stephanie

I’m completely unnerved by your posts about installing your daughter at college. (Though I thank you for them!) I’m of the “two suitcases and a bicycle” school — or perhaps I’m kidding myself. Perhaps I’m glossing over all my mother did for me when I went to college. At any rate, would you hold my hand long enough to tell me what you bought and how buying a lot squares with clear space? …On another note, I’m nursing a riled-up amygdala* after a fierce day in my basement Saturday moving dust and cat hair and stuff. Thought of you!

My reply

[Expanded for this post; not just for college-bound kids, but anyone concerned about packing for, and setting up a new home]:

Your query about how “buying lots of stuff squares with clear space” is really good! It does seem counter-intuitive doesn’t it?

For days I was completely unhinged by the sheer volume of stuff my daughter wanted to bring to college [see photo above]. Traveling 2,000 miles with six huge suitcases (one of which housed a printer for her computer), three carry-ons, two flights, and one mid-size rental car did not inspire confidence, or calm. The fact that airlines now charge hefty sums for checked and overweight baggage didn’t help either.

Seeing the postage-stamp size of room she would be sharing with another girl for an entire school year, just about did me in.

But after two days of wrestling and wrangling and finagling (and two more to recover) I’m the first to admit that the effort was well worth it. Our daughter has made her new home beautiful. After she had unpacked, put things away, and decorated (with all those lovely things she insisted on bringing), I was in awe. I had no idea that lots of things housed in a tiny space could result in space feeling really good.

The fact is, her stuff fits nicely, adds value, and is beautiful. When I walked past some of the other rooms in her dorm, they seemed drab and grey in comparison. They were missing some of the (inexpensive) touches like mirrors and twinkly lights that made my daughter’s room feel bright and spacious.

p.s. I’ve become a big fan of the Target. Their stores are beautifully laid out and **clear** (which is saying a lot!). I found their inventory to be practical, ample, colorful, reasonably-priced, and well-suited to someone starting a new home from scratch.

The Bottom line

• Things look a lot worse when they’re spread out all over the place and haven’t yet been put away.
• You don’t have to be a minimalist for your space to feel clear.
• A space feels good when your things make your heart sing, add value, and are placed with intention.
• If there is no room for something, it is clutter. No home, no have.

Hope this helps. The most important thing to remember: It’s intense for a few days and then it’s over. Like childbirth.

*Amygdala: An internal sensor in the mid-brain that triggers the fight or flight response [panic and overwhelm and stepping out of our comfort zone will activate it real fast!].