“It’s Too Daunting”: Making Friends with Despair

“I’m overwhelmed and exhausted.” “It robs me of energy.” “It’s too daunting.”

I hear this a lot from folks for whom stress and stuff is their daily experience.

Below is a partial thread of an email conversation that I had with someone recently who had just purchased my online course. She wondered out loud if the program would help relieve her deep despair.

Even if clutter is not an issue for you, you may find my response to this individual helpful. Use it as an opportunity to notice how her story makes you feel... and clear any resistance and judgments that might arise in you as you read it. If you know about me, the work I do, and my message, you’ll know that when I talk about “clutter” I mean anything that gets in the way of experiencing your true nature and best life.

The initial email

Dear Stephanie,

I read your deep, soulful book and really appreciated it. I did try again and again to apply it but sometimes alone it is just too daunting… I have been having serious problems with clutter forever which is connected to depression exhaustion and so forth.

I keep on trying and finding myself in the same place (or nearby) again and again and here I am again. It robs me of my energy, time. I get so blocked a lot of my projects I never get to them and feel a lot of my life just is not working out because of this. I get drained…emotionally energetically…economically… But though I try with all my might I keep finding myself here again…I am not even sure I could actually afford someone and I know of nobody. I really would need someone to trust that has an approach that is not just practical because there are issues involved… I was hoping that your online course could help…”

My reply:

Thank you for your email and for registering for my online course.

Once you get in to the course, my advice is to stick with it and take it slow and easy. The key to success with my methods is to be patient, allow yourself to FEEL the weather that arises, and practice extreme self-care. This includes minding the mind games (i.e. the part of the mind that goes into deep despair over your current situation).

After a few months you can reassess.

Here’s a testimonial I received recently from someone who is doing the online course. Perhaps it will give you courage and inspiration:

“I’m so grateful for your online course (I’m at lesson 4).  I’m amazed at the insights I’ve gathered so far from my journal (fear has ruled me like a tyrant). But most of all, I’m grateful for the sense that with this course I’ve partnered with you and that I’m not alone facing my fears. Thank you for lifting my spirits and being the enlightened  partner I’ve needed to start and continue on this journey.”

Remember, clearing is a journey, not a nuisance, or problem that needs fixing, or a job.

Thanks again, and enjoy the journey and hang in there!

Her response:

Dear Stephanie,

Thanks for your rapid and kind answer… Yes, the reason why I did sign up on the course was that I was hoping to feel less “alone” as the person points out in the testimonial. It’s so true what you say….about not fixing and the whole thing being a journey… it’s just that it’s been forever. Years and years…that’s what really blocks me…and this thing you feel your life on hold…blocked by clutter.. If I could find a way to not see the repetition, the past etc… it would be a little bit better…

Mine back:

You are most welcome.

Just one more thought… Wanting things to be different than how they are right now is part of the “clutter talking,” if you will. It’s the mind finding all the problems and reasons why clearing won’t work; why everything is a hopeless failure; hammering with endless if onlys… “if only my life were better,” “if only my clutter would go away just a little bit,” “if only…”

That is the monkey mind.

Not who you are.

If you can allow yourself to stay in the present moment and feel these thoughts (the discomfort of them) simply as energetic stuckness, I guarantee that one day you you will see an opening to something that feels just a little lighter, if not different.

With practice, the wee-little light-filled opening will grow into a whole new way of being.

The magic is in the feeling, and letting go of attachment to outcome, and taking it one small baby step at a time.

And if all else fails, pick up a broom and sweep to bring in new energy…

and keep breathing!

Hope this helps.

Wishing you all the best in your journey!

Stephanie

What weather does this bring up for you?

How are you feeling now?