When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting. –Unknown
‘Tis the season…
when all of our good intentions go out the window.
With the holidays come and gone, it is so easy for all those good clearing habits that we’ve been cultivating over the past few months – of tidying, decluttering, simplifying – to go out the proverbial window.
Maybe all we need to remember is to take one step today.
And repeat tomorrow. And the next day… while applying massive amounts of self-compassion and care when we get stuck, or get rattled, or lose hope.
One small step. One pile. One area. One day. One week. One month…. at a time.
Yes, the “Rule of One.” It’s the only way I know to grow a spacious muscle that lasts. Try it this month and see what happens.
If you could use a little inspiration to help you remember what matters, this poem by Mary Oliver, might help. Thank you Paul Hughes for sending it to me with the beautiful image. (If anyone knows who did the artwork, please post in the comments below. I would love to properly credit the artist.)
Storage
A Poem by Mary Oliver
When I moved from one house to another
there were many things I had no room for.
What does one do? I rented a storage
space. And filled it. Years passed.
Occasionally I went there and looked in,
but nothing happened, not a single
twinge of the heart.As I grew older the things I cared
about grew fewer, but were more
important. So one day I undid the lock
and called the trash man. He took
everything.I felt like the little donkey when
his burden is finally lifted. Things!
Burn them, burn them! Make a beautiful
fire! More room in your heart for love,
for the trees! For the birds who own
nothing– the reason they can fly.–Mary Oliver, Felicity
What is one small task you can do to lighten your load this spring? Set an intention by sharing it in the comment thread below. We will collectively hold a space for it to be so. 😉
Whether you choose to go cold turkey or adopt the gentler, more mindful “slow drip” approach (which I tend to favor), may your clearing efforts open your heart and give you new wings to fly.
Photo credit [shared with gratitude]: Unknown
I am adopting 2 kittys next week. And need to remove things on shelves, mantel, counters, dressing table, etc.
What really matters??
Nothing else matters, I say! (You may even discover that you never missed those things that you’ll be removing ;-)) Enjoy your new little ones, Gaye.
Thank you again for inspiring me! I have a slow drip going with my photos online. Sometimes that first step of deciding what I want to start is the hardest. So I’m starting small. One file today of my 2020 favorite photos. I like the idea that we can hold a space for each other and encourage us to take the next little step to move forward. Last year I enjoyed the book A Year for You. It was an anchor in a chaotic year. Some days, I thought the title mocked me,:) since it seemed that so much wasn’t for me, but most days, I relished in the idea that it was a place for me to have time to sort and ponder and meditate. I am so thankful that I took it as my weekly retreat. Thank you Stephanie for all your work and the beauty you add to our lives. Be well.
Aww, thank you so much for your kind words, Ruth! I’m so glad that my book A Year for You spoke to you, winked at you, and maybe even challenged you a bit. Keep going and enjoy the ride!
It winked at me and more! It gave me strength to move through the holidays with ease!
I need to let go of old journals..I have told my daughter Anna that if I pass unexpectedly the first order of business is to burn my journals. Why would I do that to her or anyone? Why am I holding on to all those years? They are gone! My mother died in January and I found her only journal with 2 entries. Easy. Should I keep the past 2 years? I have over 15 years worth. Thank you for any advice you can give me dear Stephanie.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, Linda. I know how much you loved your mom.
As for the journals, you can burn them sure and be done with the whole lot. But what if you start with just one first, and create a “ritual of letting go” with it? Something beautiful that honors you, how far you’ve come, reflections on your life, etc… Use this ritual to invite closure, compassionate self-acceptance, and a release of all worrying (whirring) thoughts… (like how you might be burdening your family if you were to die unexpectedly). Repeat the ritual every day for as many days as you need until you feel clear, and then see what wants to happen with the rest of the journals. It could very well lead to an effortless clearing of those, not to mention the rest of those things that are no longer useful or make your heart sing. 😉
Have fun with this and let us know how it goes. xox
Wow. Thank you for reminding me about burning journals. I had done that about 10 years ago with journals from 6th grade on and had a ceremony of burning 30 years worth. I let go all those feelings for Mother Nature to transmute. Now I have more that I shall consider to let go of as I think it is time to let go of a painful and abusive 30 yr marriage. I have 16 containers of stuff that need to be condensed into a few heart stirring items. We are now in the Age of Aquarius and it is pushing us to let go of the past and our material things. This weekend we move into the sign of Aries and that will give a big push too. It is nice to be able to see others going through this process too, knowing we are not alone. Thank you
I have a huge collection of yarn. Thus far this year, I have knit & donated 4 afghans, and I am not even through the brown yarns yet! I hope to continue this through the year
You can do this, Diane, especially when you knit in a little joy while you’re at it! One yarn and afghan at a time. Made with love.
I need to clear out my craft closet. It is filled with “possibilities” that I have had a hard time letting go, but I am ready to set myself free from the need to be “that person” that finishes all those projects. I want to find out who I am without all this stuff that I will never do anything with.
Finding out who you are by working with your craft closet seems like a wonderful opportunity and life project to me. Maybe even use some of those crafts to create something that symbolizes the YOU you are becoming.
I intend to start ridding my physical space of all the paper I have.
Clothes I may never wear again.
Loved ones who have passed belongings that are neatly stored on our property.
Organize photographic memories of life.
I know I can do this and it will feel good.
Amen, Nancy! Yes, yes, and yes. Maybe start with the easiest task on the list first and work from there. Slowly. One day at a time.
I am a beekeeper and sadly my bees died over the winter. My first instinct is to go right to the phone and order another package for the spring. This year I decided to wait… the allow myself the time this year to not take on another responsibility. While I love having them, they are one more thing to take care of on a weekly basis. So I am giving myself permission to take a year off.
I’m so sorry to hear about your bees, Chris. That must have been heartbreaking.
Taking a year off may feel radical until we do it. While the mind might think otherwise (and not like it very much) creating some breathing space – as in non-doing – is powerful, generative, and so very important. It helps us to see what wants to come through; to see if the things we thought we loved so much really do matter.
Spell-checked version:
S – I’ve SO enjoyed your offerings – THANKYOU.
I’ve Marie Kondo’d for 3 years now… but not this year…
WAY too much efforting.
I like this one bite at a time “challenge” of yours.
How ’bout I do my Studio closet counter top today – and more in that closet as the nest steps…!
I love it!!
I have become a collector of crafting supplies. I see a craft idea and just like that Amazon has delivered the supplies. Rarely do I actually make any of those crafts I’ve gathered supplies for. Sewing for my granddaughter brings me so much joy – that’s where my attention will go. Time to let go of crafting supplies not used and guilt of not using supplies purchased. Focus on the sewing that does make me happy.
During Covid shut-down, I had repairs made to my bathroom and living room. I had to take *everything* out of each room in order to get the work done. Now I don’t want to put it back. It’s a great time to work through all that stuff …
Last night all the knitting patterns – dating from the 1940s to 1990s – left my home. Surprisingly, people wanted them so they are not trashed. Next stop cookbooks.
I have wonderful food ingredient containers all sitting out on my island along with all of the gluten free packaged ingredients and the labels for each one. I have walked by them for 2 weeks now. How silly. And…I know how great they will look in my pantry and how much simplicity and convenience they will add to healthy meal preparation.
Stephanie, you have revolutionized my life! I feel clearing requires an introspection of your personality. I find the “one thing at a time” works amazingly for me. I often look at an item and think I no longer need it so I put it in a neat little pile in the corner of my closet if it is clothing or a bathroom item or the garage for things from the rest of the house. I give myself a day or so to look at it and think about whether I can let it go and 95% of the time it is taken to a thrift store or the garbage. It is a continual process to let go and clear my life but it works for me. The idea of taking everything out at once makes me anxious. I can let go methodically and consistently and feel amazing. Thanks for all your worldly advice.
Amen to ease! So glad the slow drip approach resonates for you, too, Lori. When we can see it more as a journey instead of another thing to-do and check off the list, it really becomes a lot more illuminating, nourishing, and FUN! Thank you for your kind words and inspiration.
I have piles of files and paper from years of cause-oriented committee work. It’s time to let them go. To acknowledge that my identity and worth and passion is not on those pages. It is in my heart and in the lessons learned. I’ll start some ritual burning sessions and join Crystal above in letting Mother Nature transmute those artifacts and experiences so that I can move on to fresh pastures rather than ruminate on past projects.
Yes and yes!!
Jo, I too have boxes & piles of cause oriented paperwork laying around. I made some headway over the holidays initially, consolidated and tossed a lot. Still much more to do (13 years worth) and more thinning. And your words and Stephanie’s are a salve to my fear of letting go. Saving only enough of the key documents and graphic design for a portfolio. By clearing the space it’s taking up will allow me to do like you, using your words as I’ve not been able to find my own
“…transmute those artifacts and experiences so that I can move on to fresh pastures…” I am blessed to find this encouragement today in the midst of beginning new daily routines, and pushing through my fear and anxiety. Thank you!!
I took a 2 year class for a certification. The subject is so interesting and would lead to a better and less stressful work/life. I discovered it was hard to organize the tons of material and got way behind. My house, never really organized to begin with, went off the tracks. Now, I am taking as much time as I need, culling & organizing those papers, notebooks, & computer files, and giving attention to my home again, I really don’t need all of this stuff. I’m used to placing demanding schedules and challenges on myself, then feeling rushed, anxious, behind, and overwhelmed.
My northstar is to feel relaxed, flexible and at peace and find balance while building a new routine,- owning my progress (not the stuff), adding in breaks and changing it up as needed.
Love your northstar clarity, Jan!
I am currently enjoying A Year to Simplify Your Life and this is my 3rd year-long training that I have signed up for. This type of learning keeps me focused and always looking forward to the next lesson. I have learned SO much from Stephanie’s course work because I had such a tough time of letting go. My abundance of items became my family and friends because I have had so much death/abandonment that my inanimate objects were my only way of coping. My items cannot hurt, harm, or leave me so they became my everything and this is how I was able to maintain and keep my distance from people. I have my good days and then some bad days but all days lead to moving forward now without feeling so angry or depressed about letting items go. Thank You Stephanie Bennett Vogt for saving my life and believing in people again.
Aww, Natalie, thank you so much for these kind words. YOU are doing the hard part, and I’m so glad that my courses are giving you the courage and strength to stay with it. Keep going, sister. The journey only gets better! Happy clearing.