Anxiety: A Good Sign?

“Life is 10 percent of what happens to you,
and 90 percent of how you respond to it.”
–Unknown

Think of a time you experienced an “invasion” in your personal space where you felt violated, anxious, overwhelmed, worried, or helpless. How did you deal with the situation?

Did you react or respond?

Though bed bugs may not be the experience of many of us, I thought this email I received recently points to a much larger issue that most of us humans can relate to:

“Hello Stephanie…I was excited about beginning the decluttering process one pile at a time and was thinking of hiring you to do some space clearing when I had the misfortune of having bedbugs brought into the house. YIKES!! According to the exterminators there is major prep work involved and my slow “stop and feel” one pile at a time plan for the coming year is going to be more like a bulldozer weekend. My plans to have you come and do a space clearing have been put on hold indefinitely as this is going to cost me a small fortune. I am so overwhelmed and full of anxiety mostly around decision-making as I’m getting conflicting information and I don’t know who to trust.

My question is how can I use this nightmare as an opportunity to clear. I only have two days. Please Help.”

My response:

Okay, so it sounds like “anxiety” is the real goodie and teaching for you… not the bedbugs or the bulldozer maintenance plan or the money that it’s going to cost to clear it all.

All those things are just the drama. If you can focus on what your mind does with what’s happening, no matter what it is, you’ll gain the true spirit of the clearing journey.

In my experience, when anxiety comes up in such a big, sudden, out-of-control way, it means that something is on the verge of shifting or changing for me. I see it as a really good sign. As George Leonard aptly puts it:

“Our resistance to change is likely to reach its peak when significant change is imminent.”–George Leonard

So here are some ways you can “respond” to the situation:

(1) Start by reframing the word “nightmare.” Call it your teacher, a blessing, an opportunity, a reflection of something that needs to be loved and embraced.

(2) Choose ease. Your mind won’t like the positive spin because it’s holding on for dear life to some old patterns that are on the verge of shifting, but do it anyway.

(3) Allow yourself to feel the feelings that arise to the degree that you can handle them, without doing anything to fix or change them. You may notice the “weather” begin to lift.

(4) I recommend you read (or re-read) chapters 4 and 8 in my book to help you cultivate spacious detachment.

(5) Nurture yourself with massive doses of support in the weeks and months to follow. Self-care is one thing you can do something about when you feel helpless. It is the balm in the clearing journey. Plus it feels good.

(6) Practice this all-purpose meditation, which I offer my clients. It is an eight-minute audio that I recorded to help clients beef up and maintain the positive energies in their home after a space clearing. Practice it after the exterminators had done their “bulldozing” and repeat every day for a while. It creates and maintains a safe container.

(7) Last but not least: Keep breathing … and hang in there. This will pass.

No details on the outcome of this case, just this short email message that arrived two days later:

“Thank you so,so much! You have no idea.
Love and many, many Blessings”

I welcome your comments, stories, experiences!